Batfool
by esteed
Summary: I inserted my friends into the old Batman TV show. Please R/R, and be kind! This is my first Batman ff.
1. Default Chapter

It was another beautiful day in Ellicott City. At the home of multi- millionaire Donald Insley, he and his young friend Philip were playing a game of chess. "Knight to E4," Philip stated in a bored tone. 'Checkmate." Donny went crazy. "What do you mean, 'Checkmate,'? You're my sidekick! I'm supposed to win! I'm older!" "Older isn't always smarter," Philip gleefully replied, ducking from Donny's roundhouse. Just then the telephone rang. "Saved by the bell," Donny muttered, before picking up the phone. "Hello?" "Batman?" It was Commissioner Steve. "Who else would it be? This is the bat hotline." "Oh, yes," Steve muttered to himself. "Anyway, a gang of girls have been making the outrageous claim that women are equal to men." "Holy feminism!" Philip shouted. "Don't worry, Commissioner," Donny relied, glaring at Philip for his annoying habit of shouting "Holy," fill-in-the-blank. "We'll be right there," Donny hung up the phone. "To the Batpoles!" He ordered before charging directly into the bookcase. "Philip, when I say, 'To the Batpoles,' you turn the switch. Philip!" "Huh?" Philip snapped out of his dream-like state. "Just turn the switch." Philip nodded before flicking the light switch off. "Not that switch, Philip," Donny said exasperatedly. "I can't find it again," Philip sounded lost. "Oh for," Donny muttered to himself. He strode across the room to where the light switch was located and flicked it back on. "Now, watch me," He ordered. He walked over to his desk, and flipped back the head of a bust of Shakespeare, revealing a knob, which Donny turned. "Now, to the Batpoles," Donny exclaimed before rushing to the space behind the bookcase and sliding down the poles. Philip quickly followed.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********** Meanwhile, he group of renegade feminists met at the home of its eldest member, a Ms. Amanda Kinsel, who was holding a meeting there under cover of a 'Brit Fest.' The girls emotions were building to a frenzy. "We need to show those sexist pigs that we're strong too," Amanda exclaimed. The girls went wild. "How were you proposing to do this," Virginia Insley, sister to multi- millionaire Donald Insly inquired. "Simple. We'll kidnap one of the more influential male chauvenists and hold him ransom. Our price? The passage of the Equal Rights Amendment!" "Might I suggest someone," Ginny questioned. "Might I ask who," Amanda replied. "My brother, multi-millionaire Donald Insley." Amanda smiled evilly. 


	2. Chapter Two

Unaware of the trap being set for them, Donny and Philip, disguised as Batman and Robin, raced to City Hall. "Batman?" Steve questioned as the Dynamic Duo raced through the doors. "Who else races around town dressed in tights and a cowl," Donny demanded, a little annoyed. "What's a cowl," Gus, the police chief interrupted. "Am I Totally surrounded by idiots," Donny asked himself aloud. "Yes," Gus quickly replied. "I mean.wait a minute." "It was a rhetorical question," Donny explained. "No you're a rhetorical question," Gus muttered. "Do you have any idea who the leader of the group is," Philip asked, taking the situation into his own hands. "Yes, a Ms. Amanda Kinsel, also known as Rosie the Riveter." "Robin," Donny cried, "I'm the leader, I ask the questions!" "Sorry." "That's all right. Just don't do it again. Why is she known as Rosie the Riveter?" "Because she is joining the forces of the women's rights movement. Welding it together. Her ultimate goal is the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment, also known as the E R A." "Amazing," Donny said thoughtfully. "What is," Steve questioned. "One minute you don't know who I am. The next, you know why a villain has a certain name, and her ultimate goals." "No, I don't know. I'm reading the cue cards. See. Over there." Steve pointed. Donny sighed. "Come on Robin, lets go check the bat-computer in the bat-cave. It may give us some bat-clues as to where we may find this Rosie the Riveter." "Golly, couldn't we just look in the phone book Batman," Philip questioned. "No, Robin." "I don't understand why." "Do you think all criminal masterminds have their numbers in the phone book," Donny questioned. "To the bat-mobile!" The duo raced out of the building.  
  
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Donny typed the name 'Rosie the Riveter' into the bat-computer. But all he got was a picture from the 1940s. Next he typed in 'Amanda Kinsel.' Bingo. "Holy quick work, Batman," Philip exclaimed. Donny rubbed his temples. He was getting a head-ache. "Quickly, Robin," he exclaimed. "Let's head to this address, '1920 Susan B. Anthony Lane'." The bat-mobile roared off.  
  
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Amanda heard a car screech to a halt outside her house. She looked through the blinds. "Oh no! It's Batman and Robin! Quick, set the trap!"  
  
Batman rang the doorbell. "Gosh Batman," Robin said, "Shouldn't we use the element of surprise on them?" "No," Donny replied. "We have the advantage. We're men." The door opened. Inside it was pitch black. Batman moved in. "Golly gee willikers, Batman," Robin said, "shouldn't we use our bat- lights from our bat-utility belts to give us better bat-vision." "Robin, shut up," Donny replied. "Robin," he questioned. It was silent. "Rob-" Batman was cut off as a heavy object was brought down upon the back of his head.  
  
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Batman opened his eyes. He was bound to a table. Sitting across the room was Amanda, writing a fanfic. His motion caught her eye. "Hello, Batman." "You fiendish felon," Batman spat. "What have you done with Robin!?!?!?!?" "He's quite well, Batman. And thanks so much for asking how I am. Not much of a gentleman, are you?" "I'm always polite to ladies. But you're no lady." "Now, now Batman. You've insulted your host." "I'm sorry," he replied flippantly. "No," she answered thoughtfully, "I don't think you are. But no matter. It's time to introduce you to your death trap." "Women," Donny muttered. "What," Amanda demanded. "Nothing," Donny sighed. "That's better," she smiled. She clapped her hands. Two women rolled an unconscious Robin in. "Are you ready to meet your maker?" "Not really, but will my answer deter you in any way?" Amanda thought about his. "No," she admitted. "However, before you die, I'm going to remove your cowl. Something no other villain," Donny excitedly interrupted. "You know what it is!!" "Know what what is?" "My cowl!" "Doesn't everyone know what a cowl is?" "You would think so, but," "Enough stalling," she ripped off the owl and gasped. "Multi- millionaire Donald Insley! It isn't Halloween, you know."' "All right. You caught me. I'm Batman." "Yeah right. Tell me another one." "And my young friend Philip is Robin." "Ha! I was just kidding when I told you to tell me another one." "Why doesn't anyone believe me when I tell them I'm Batman," Donny questioned. Amanda just shrugged. "Since you're not Batman, I won't kill you. I'll just have to brainwash you instead. We cant have you ruining our plans" She snapped, and electrodes were attached to Donny's and the now awake Philip's heads.  
  
WILL BATMAN AND ROBIN BE BRAINWASHED? WILL THE DEVILISH PLOT SUCCEED?  
  
"Holy cliffhanger," Philip shouted. "Shut up," everyone shouted back.  
  
WILL WOMEN RULE THE WORLD?  
  
"You bet," Amanda chortled. She pressed a button. Instantly Donny and Philip were brainwashed.  
  
What happened next, you ask? How could the bad girls win, you ask?  
  
As to the first question, Donny and Philip became Senators who were instrumental in the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment. Batman and Robin were never seen again.  
  
As to the second question.  
  
Why wouldn't the author win? 


End file.
